November 16

Advice For The Truly F*Cked :)


Sometimes you have to open up your chest and let your heart fall out so here goes:

Just had a nice dinner on the trampoline with the girls (more on that later) and some random thoughts came to mind.

Background- Currently one of my real estate projects is driving me f’ing crazy. I’m working nonstop on it but it’s like wrestling an alligator with ice skates on. Super long story but the issues keep me up at night and make me want to drink Capt & Cokes to oblivion. Actually thats 1995 Jim talking, current me uses crossfit as my drug of choice. Better on the mind, but tough on the hands.

Crazy thing is I know I’m not alone. I know not everyone in their Lulu’s at the coffee shop has their shit together. There’s no way, right? No way I’m the only crazy one with the crazy shit happening.

So I’m writing this for you if you feel overwhelmed in life, stressed beyond belief or just completely confused about what’s happening around you. If you feel truly f’ed up or like a failure in life then this is for you because I’ve been there. Everyone else looks like they’re crushing life and you can’t remember to even have breakfast in the morning. In essence this is for the truly f*cked:)

In no particular order:

  • You’re not alone. Most people are f’ed up. it’s really the truth, you’re probably not doing as bad as other people you know.
  • There is beauty in the struggle if you can find it. if you work at something for months on end and it finally works out, how awesome is that?
  • You can’t control everything and bad shit happens. This one has been TOUGH for me to learn. if something bad happens on a deal that’s out of your control, what can you do? Nothing. This lessons sucks but in my experience it keeps happening until you get it.
  • Bad people exist. People who will try to f*ck you over, lie, cheat & steal. Sucks but it’s a part of life sometimes. Don’t always assume someone is going to do the right thing.
  • Keep your honor. Regardless of shit flying around you, stay true to your values and your honor. Don’t stoop to other people’s levels, stay true to yours. Judge yourself by your actions and your words.
  • Be nice. Simple advice but rings true. Whenever possible be nice. Just like Patrick Swayze said in Roadhouse, “Be Nice.”
  • Look for options. When faced with shitty situations look for options. Then when you think you’re out of options look for more options. Stretch your brain, think crazy and ask others. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought a situation was hopeless and then i talked to someone who gave me 3-5 options I hadn’t considered. Look for options…
  • Eat right/ get sleep/ have sex. Control the 1st one, hope for the 2d and pray for the 3rd:)
  • Get some exercise. Take your biggest problem and turn it into some squats or a grueling AMRAP and beat the f out of it. Not necessarily my most gentle/loving advice but sometimes you listen to yacht rock and sometimes you need 2pac.
  • Don’t be afraid to be afraid. Don’t try to dominate your fears but don’t stress about them either- fear is your body chemistry reacting to a situation, and that’s about it.
  • Understand the difference between not liking something and it harming you. I may not want to email __________________ about ________ tomorrow but regardless of how it goes it’s going to physically harm me. It’s ok to not like something but don’t avoid dealing with it if it can’t cause you harm.
  • This is my last one and it’s hard to put into words but please realize the more f*cked up you are the more heroic you are. It’s easy to be good looking/rich/popular but where’s the challenge in that? I’ll take someone who’s truly f*cked any day of the week. If you’re that way, then I applaud you. You have a hero inside you fighting the fights that you need fighting. You aren’t going to win them all and it’s never going to look pretty but who gives a shit? You have a hero inside you and I truly f*cking believe that. And yes I know that sounds mellow dramatic and rah rah but I don’t give a f*ck because its what i truly believe. So here’s to you, my friend, my fellow truly f’ed hero. Let’s get rolling, cool?

Talk soon..jim


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